Loving Your Life...Even the Down Times!

      So, every once in a while I have to post an update and write about something that has inspired me immensely.
      First, it's been just over a year since my college graduation and let me tell you, it has been a wild ride! After graduating, I moved back home for about two weeks, only to move out again and into a friend's house for about six months. For those of you who know what it's like to have to rely on the kindness of your friends or even strangers, for something so life changing and knowing you could never properly repay them for their kindness, you know just how grateful I am to this person. About seven months ago (wow, I can't believe it's been seven months) I moved into a great apartment with my boyfriend of almost five years and we're doing great. I've had so many great jobs and opportunities in the past year. I can hardly believe I, we, have come this far and still have so much further to go, but it's so worth it!
    Second, I have to speak what's on my mind. We, as humans, go through so much in life. Having cancer only makes it that much harder. Not just for yourself, but for everyone around you. It's why your friends may stop coming around or calling. It affects you and everyone around you, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Between that and the added daily pressures of life and career, things can seem pretty bleak sometimes. I've been there before. Likely, you have too. This is something we all have in common. This is something we can all pull together on. When one of us is down, we have to work together to lift that person up and help them out, even if they hate you for it. In their mind, the world is ending in almost every way possible. You, however, have the moral task of convincing them that it's not. Life goes on and so must you. Perseverance is key!
      Tonight, I witnessed something amazing. Tonight, a life was physically saved, although this life may not see it that way right now. Allow me to let you all in on a little secret. When I was sick, all those years ago, my mother and father were still married, though their marriage was quickly fading. My mother was working, going to nursing school, and taking care of myself, my sister and my father, in addition to her ailing parents. She had also been tormenting herself mentally for years for several things that were not entirely in her control. After all of this stress came to a head a few years ago, it seemed like her life was ending for her. In reality, it was the beginning of something wonderful. She was finally getting the support she needed for so long. She just had to go through hell and back to get it. I'm entirely sure now that she would say it was worth it. The point of this story is that you can't give up. Too many times we want to give. Sometimes, it may even seem like the universe just wants us to...but you can't. You are in control of your life, at least to a point. It is what you make of it. Get a life, don't let it get you.
      Just as a little pick me up, this is a song by a wonderful artist that I think is very appropriate and beautiful. The song is Perfect Road by Preston Pugmire. Perfect Road by Preston Pugmire

And So It Is That Life Must Go On...Now How Do I Do That?!

Hello All,

I'm back again! :D So allow me to give you an update on my life. So I've recently graduated from college with a BA in Spanish. Yay me! :P Now, I'm currently working on job and apartment hunting. Boo!

Now, aside from the continuation of "normal" life, how does one continue life as a cancer survivor? As a cancer survivor, do you lead a double life after remission? How do you look at life after remission? How do you look at life's challenges? Before I get to these questions, I would like to direct your attention elsewhere for a short time.

There was a person in my life, whom I was unaware of until about a year ago, because I was quite young when I was diagnosed. She's no longer here and I would like for you all to give her legacy and her family your attention. Mrs. Teresa Mobley, a little over a year ago now, passed as a result of Leukemia. My mother, a friend of her's, told me that she had been diagnosed and that her family was looking for blood and marrow donors. I knew the likelihood that I would be able to donate was slim to none, but I'm the universal donor and wanted to try. She helped my family during my time of need and I would have liked to return the favor, but I never got the chance. When she passed, a mark was left on the Edgecombe County community like no other. She left behind her husband and children, who miss her everyday. Please help them support Relay for Life and the ACS in the search for a cure by donating to their team: Teresa's Angels.

This one's for you Teresa!

Now, back to our proposed questions. I've read numerous different articles and opinion pieces on cancer survivorhood. They all have said different things, no two were the same. I'm sure if you were to ask several different people, you would get several different answers.

So here's my personal answer.

I never expected when I went to college that I would meet, not just one, but two other cancer survivors, who were exactly my age; but I did. The three of us all lead different lives, looked at things in different lights and have very different lifestyles and outlooks. We each had a different type and came out of it just fine, but not unscathed. Each of us also had our own endings to being a cancer patient.

Do I lead a double life? Short answer; yes. Long answer; I've lead a double life since I became a survivor. I've lead this double life for 14 years now. I didn't become more religious, though I do think that I gained a stronger spiritual, emotional connection with mother nature and life. I do tend to look at things differently. Cancer changed me, probably for the better. I look at death as being a part of life. What someone dies from can make them a martyr, but it doesn't have to. You can die and leave a legacy; leave a mark. That's great that some people do! Sometimes it prompts people to act. However, how many people are there out there who die as a result of cancer that you don't hear about; who aren't martyrs. Where are they? They still have family who remember them, even if they didn't get a lot of attention or die for a cause or leave a legacy behind. When you fight for a cure, you fight for everyone. Keep that in mind. It's okay to have someone, or several people even, in mind when you Relay, research, or fundraise, but you're helping everyone.

My dad constantly introduces me to his friends by saying, "This is the daughter who had cancer years ago." I know, tactful, isn't he :P There are so many other things to distinguish me by. It doesn't bother me that I'm introduced that way. However, sometimes I see it as being so long ago that it seems like ancient history. Then I realized that I'm not by myself and that there may come a time later in life when I'm diagnosed again. I realize that cancer is still, and will be for a long time, a big part of my life. Doesn't matter how young I was when I had it, I still bear the marks; physically, emotionally, mentally and philosophically.

Now, how do I look at life's challenges? That's a very good question. From the point of view of someone who has not gone through cancer themselves, it may seem like my answer would be something to the effect of: Well, I beat cancer, so I can beat this. However, that's not the case. When something major comes along in life; i.e. the death of a loved one, or finding a job and supporting yourself on your own for the first time; it still sucks to go through these things. I still grieve. I still get depressed, discouraged and down-trodden. I still hurt. Just like everyone else. Cancer didn't change those things.

My own philosophy and mentality is to pick myself back up, because as humans, that's what we have to do. You pick yourself up and keep going. Yes, I may feel a little different afterwards, but I think if I didn't, then I did something wrong. I look at life's challenges just as they are; challenges, but I do have to admit, in the scheme of things, they do seem just slightly smaller. My point is that whatever I go through, I have to have hope. If I don't, then I have nothing. Hope is the thing that we humans cling to desperately, for everything. So that's where I will end this one; with hope. Regardless of what happens or how you see it, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! :) Goodnight all

PS: Relay for life of Rowan County was freaking awesome this year, as my first year, despite the cold weather! :D

Btw, this is a pic of my recent graduation and my friends! From right to left is Ryan, myself, Jacob and Kedtrin.

Relay for Life of Martin County 2013

Hi Everyone,

      I'm sorry that it's been so long since my last post, but I'm back for a short while :)

      Now, I'd like to talk about Relay for Life of Martin County.  First, I would like to start off with the good things.  Relay has always been a fun event and will always hold a place in my heart.  This year, we had more people walking the track than expected and more people on the track in the early morning hours than last year. That was great to see!  We also notice many young people out there. 

      However, I did notice that there were not very many booths set up around the track.  Just a few years ago I remember the entire track being filled up with tents and booths. So much so that people were fighting for space.  Relay for Life in Martin County used to be a huge event that demanded everyone's attention and admiration.  To a point, it still does, but that point has been blunted greatly, in my eyes.  It was sad to see so many empty spaces around the track. There was hardly any food for sale for the relayers and though the bands and singers were a good form of entertainment, there was hardly much else.  I wonder if this is, in part, due financial hard times. Either way, it was a slightly pitiful sight.

       I was also saddened to find that my old high school Relay for Life team had hardly done anything.  After talking with several different people, I found out that it was because the students were not permitted to do very much.  I was a little agitated at this because the students really seemed to want to do more! They did not even stay overnight this year. Now, with that being said, the students were obviously dedicated and I'm sure that if they'd had it their way, would've done more!

      This year, I worked with a few committee members on the kid's activities.  I really enjoyed this!  I could not stay the night this year, unfortunately, but when I arrived back early the next morning for the kid's walk, I was told about the group of children that stayed up most of the night being loud while others were camped out, trying to sleep.  Now, relay is certainly a good place to stay up all night, but not to sit around with your friends being loud and waking others up.  Reportedly, these kid's looked to be about 15 and did not have an adult with them.  I know of similar situations that happened in years past.  Obviously, something needs to be done to remedy this.

      In addition to all of this, many people did not get their paperwork in on time, this year.  This prevented them from getting team t-shirts and information vital to their team's work.

      Please, don't get me wrong. I loved relay, just like I always do, but I do feel that it could've been much better.

      Team captains and members, I urge you to have your paperwork and information handed in on time in order to receive everything that you need. 

      Groups and companies, please participate if you can.  We would love to have you and it's a lot of fun, not to mention, donations are tax-deductible. 

      If you have questions about how to start a team, who can participate, what you can do, or any other questions, please see the following link: http://www.relayforlife.org/.

I, as a cancer suvivor, am insulted!

This is an outrage. Okay, so here, read this article, then I'll rant:

Teen suspended for hair that he wants to donate to Locks-of-Love

Um, is it just me or does this seem unfair?  I know his position.  I'm currently attending a private college and know that there are no rights. I'm exaggerating a bit there, but it is kind of true. Also, as a cancer survivor, this is insulting!

This kid has battled one of the worst kinds of cancer his entire life and now has hair again and just wants to cut it off again and give it back to those who still don't have any.  We should be commending him, not kicking him out of school.  He's already received much attention from this, but I think it needs more. So, here's the other link from the article, in case you missed  it:

Please sign this!

I will leave it at that!

Something to Think About!

First and foremost, I've been meaning to post this for a while. Usually, my readers know that every month I make a post about that month's cancer awareness topic. For the month of December, the topic at hand is cancer-related illness and fatigue.

After seeing several cases of cancer and treatments first hand, I can safely say that not only is the cancer itself tough to beat, but so are the side-effects. Chemotherapy really tears a person down. My mom tells me that it made me really sick, in addition to losing my hair. My Grandma Lexie's body just could not handle the chemo. I do sometimes think that the chemo is what really killed her and it probably was, but I also realize that she was taking any and all chances that she could to live. It was her choice. We all have to deal with our loved one's choices. It's their lives, not ours.

Something else that I want to talk about is selfish family members. I know that the last thing that anyone wants is to see a loved one taken from them suddenly or even deminishing over a period of time, but try not to be selfish. I've seen families be torn apart and not speak to each other for years because of this. Just remember that the time that you're taking to fight, is time that you could be spending with each other! Also, when you fight, don't make the mistake of thinking that your loved one doesn't know or won't find out. It's shameful to make your dying loved one feel worse because someone's being selfish over life and death when we don't get to choose in the first place.

I'm sorry if I've stepped on some toes by saying that, but it needed to be said. Second, New Year's Eve is tomorrow. Take some time to think about yourself, deceased loved ones, and survivors that you love. Even years after, the death of a loved one can still be extremely painful, but don't let that stop you from showing them that you still remember them.

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month!!!

Lung cancer is, by far, the most common killer from cancer. I mean, think about it, how many people do you know that currently have lung cancer, or have had lung cancer? How many have died from it?

Most cases are diagnosed very late in life, this is due to the fact that the majority of lung cancers develop very slowly, over a long length of time. While cigerette smoke is the leading cause of development, secondhand smoke, asbestos, radon, and other environmental factors. For the most part, men are affected more, but women are quickly making themselves equals.

There are many different types and few symptoms until late in development.

For more information, please click here to learn about Non-small Cell Lung Cancer.
For more information, please click here to learn about Small Cell Lung Cancer.

My grandmother died two years ago this coming March. She had Non-small Cell Lung Cancer and was diagnosed merely months before she passed. I miss her everyday. A word of advice, don't wait until it's too late!



I love you Grandma! <3





October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

Alright everyone, so we all know that it's Breast Cancer awareness month! Who of you out there have had, or currently have, Breast Cancer? Or maybe you know someone who did or does. Tell me about it. I need content for my cancer stories page. If you need information on Breast Cancer, please see my list of cancers. I will link it for you: Breast Cancer Info. Please scroll down to find what you're looking for.

So my Great-grandmother, Essie O'neal, had Breast Cancer and survived. This one's for you Grandma! <3